Hi. I’m the Enigma.
Let’s get this over with, shall we? You’re here, I’m here, we might as well make the best of it. I’m ████████ Actually my name is not important. Just call me Enigma.
This is where I’m supposed to regale you with tales of my glorious achievements and make you think I’m someone worth paying attention to. But let’s be real—nobody actually gives a shit about “About” pages. You’re either lost, drunk, or too curious for your own good. Either way, welcome to my very own pointless corner of the internet.
The Cardboard Box Chronicles.
I’m an eccentric fellow who wears a cardboard box on his head from Sheffield, England, where the steel’s strong, the tea’s stronger, and the people are even stronger still. I grew up moving around the UK to escape the mines as I didn’t yearn for them, dodging pigeons, and learning how to string together enough words to fool people into thinking I know what I’m doing. Spoiler alert: I don’t.
Somewhere along the way, I figured out that I liked telling stories, so I started writing them down. Then I got all “artsy” and started writing poems too, as I needed another reason for people to think I was weird. In a failed attempt to seem normal and after pissing about playing video games for far too long, I figured I’d actually study them. So, off I went to LMC and Bradford University to learn computer game design and development, because apparently, I thought staring at screens for the rest of my life would be a good idea. And I guess other than the now prescription glasses I wear, it was, as I finished with the best grades, so I guess playing all those games WASN’T a complete waste of time mum!
A trainwreck in slow motion.
After graduating I ended up working in the grinding machine that is the design industry for several years before realising I’d rather do literally anything else, so now I spend my days making content for other idiots to enjoy on YouTube. My channel is a delightful mess of Minecraft tutorials—like “Sci-5,” where I teach you how to build things that will probably explode—and my let’s play series on Randomcraft, where I wander around like a lost old man looking for his missing sock whilst occasionally bumping into people he doesn’t know.
When I’m not smashing my face against my keyboard trying to make video content, you can also find me on Twitch where I do game design and development. It’s like watching a trainwreck in slow motion, except the train is me, and the wreck is absolutely anything I do or touch. There you can join me in designing and developing my first ever solo game “Feed the Machine” or working on other games such “Detective Crumpet and the Brunchville Mystery”, or I could just be playing a game with one of my friends and talking about dumb stuff—it really is a coin flip on which!
But wait, there’s more!
In 2019, I decided to prove my IQ was questionable by leaving the UK, and buggering off to America right as the coronapocalypse hit. It was a real pro-gamer move. Now, I live in the land of drive-thru everything with my wife, who somehow hasn’t filed for divorce yet. So if you’re wondering why my games or content either on my main channel or T.E.F. are all so dumb, it’s just that I’m trying to blend in here.
Anyway, this page has already gone on too long, and if you’re still reading, you clearly have nothing better to do. Go explore the site, check out my videos, streams, maybe buy something from my shop if you’re feeling generous or read about games and game design. Or don’t. Honestly, I don’t care. I’ll be here, wearing my box, doing my thing. Now fuck off. No, really—fuck off.
